


Behind closed doors

by LunaLight84



Category: Dreamtale - Fandom, ErrorTale - Fandom, Inktale - Fandom, Underfell - Fandom, Undertale (Video Game), underswap
Genre: Deppresion, F/F, Gen, Multi, Suicide Attempt, Suicide trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:20:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25056085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaLight84/pseuds/LunaLight84
Summary: WARNING: THIS FANFIC HAS REFRENCES OF SUCIDE, SELF HARM, AND DEPRESSION! THIS IS NOT TO MAKE FUN OF OR MOCK ANYBODY WHO SELF HARMS, HAS COMMITED SUICIDE, OR HAVE DEPPRESION!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE THESE TYPES OF THINGS, PLEASE CLICK OFF!! Ty!And remember, if you have self harmed or have depression, you're not alone, and I care about you.Anyways, this fix is from Ink's pov. So ur ink now!!
Relationships: Errink, Inkerror
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19





	Behind closed doors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mynntea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mynntea/gifts).



I wake up, realizing the horrible mistake I made. Waking up.. I wish I could go back to bed. I don't want to suffer today. I don't want to make people unhappy with my presence. Why should I get out of bed? Why should I eat? Why should I talk with friends? Why do anything, if I know how worthless I truly am? I don't want too get out of bed. I want to go to bed and never wake up. Why does the world want to punish me like this? Did I do something wrong? Is that the reason? Maybe the mistake was ever existing in the first place. I wish I was never born.

I sigh, as tears begin flowing down my cheeks. I hate myself. I hate the world, and how much pain it has brought opon me. I just want to stay here and cry away my pain. But I know I can't do that. Am I really gonna be late again? It doesn't matter, does it? Nobody will miss me. Nobody needs me. I'm so useless. I hate it. I want to change, but I don't know how. I really am stupid. I don't even know how to be a better person. Everyone should hate me. Nobody should love me. I'm a freak and a mistake. Asking for love would be selfish, as if I already wasn't selfish. I want to sob. But somebody would hear me. If somebody found me, they would know how weak and pathetic I really am. They would make fun of me. I'm supposed to be the protector of aus, and the god of creativity. I'm supposed to be positive to everyone and have an upbeat attitude, right?.. Then why am I not positive to myself, or upbeat at all?.. 

The pain is unbearable, I just want to escape. Then, I get an idea. I walk downstairs to the kitchen, then open the drawer. I start looking at my arms. Is this really the solution? It might be, but I don't want to jinx myself. So I decide to turn away. Having a soul sucks. It's only caused me pain. I wish I could go back, and turn down the offer. But they would probably give me one anyway, not knowing how much pain I would be in. But it's not their fault, they can't predict the future. Why did I blame them for my problems? I'm so selfish. I wish I could just dissapear.

I then realize i have to get ready. I go downstairs and pick out my normal outfit. Atleast I wasn't stupid last night and actually remembered to wash my clothing. I then start walking towards the bathroom to get ready. I stare into the mirror, judging ever feature about myself. The ink stain on my cheek is probably to show how careless I am. And being careless isn't good, right? Yeah, it isn't good at all. But there is really nothing I can do about the stain. So I decide to start getting ready.

Atleast I like my clothing. It's really soft and comfortable, and it looks nice too. My eyes shift to stars. This one of the only moments I've felt actually happy. And the feeling is so wonderful. I don't want it to leave. But, it does as soon as I realize I have to see my friends today. I have to put on an act again. Why do I even try? I know they secretly hate me deep down. Or atleast I think they do. I sigh, and try putting on my best fake smile. It doesn't even look real. They're going to realize, and see how much of a loser I am. Oh well, atleast Dream or Nightmare can't read my emotions, considering I have a fake soul.

I head over to grab broomy, and smile faintly. Broomy is someone who's always made me atleast a little happy. And I love him for that. He's my paintbrush after all! But, people always make fun of me for talking to him like a real person. Saying I'm weird. My mood shifts back to what it once was as I gloomily grab Broomy and head out the door, putting on my best fake smile yet, as I forcefully shift my eyes to stars. It hurts to shift them like this, but oh well. Atleast nobody will find out the about hell that is the real me.

\---¯\\_(ツ)_/¯---

I look at the scenery outside of my house for a second. A few cherry blossoms, a stone path, a few ferns, along with some saplings can really make something beautiful. It really is nice. I smile faintly. I could sit out here for hours, just admiring the beauty. Nature is truly a lovely thing, and I just want to admire it all day. Not go out with friends who probably don't even like me, and who I have to put on a show for.

I can feel someone poking me, while call my name. I turn around to see Error. Of course he'd come. Why wouldn't he? He cares about- No.. He doesn't he would never.. But, I enjoy his company, even though he probably hates me, and is lying about being my friend. I can feel my heart pounding. Why do I feel this way? I shouldn't be.. Especially not around him. God, I am a freak. Why can't I just be normal? Maybe everyone would like me a bit more. Who am I kidding? Nobody really likes me. Why would anybody have a reason too? I'm so annoying and self centered. Why can't I just go away, and never come back? Everyone would be better off without me.

Nevertheless, I turn around and 'smile' at Error, ignoring my self deprecating thoughts. Even though they still bugged me and were tearing me apart bit by bit. He smiled back. I could feel my heart flutter in my chest. Him smiling at me like this makes me so happy. I can't even explain it. "Ink, you dummy. Why didn't you come out today? We were supposed to hang out, remember?" He giggles. I giggle back, but on the inside that struck me so hard. I hate it when he teases me. But I never tell him because he'll think I'm sensitive and weak. I don't want Error to think less of me. He probably already doesn't think very highly of me. So I don't to lower his perception of me even more.

"Ehehe.. Well, you know me! I'm as forgetful as ever! Hehehe~" Everything hurts inside, but I have to keep this up. But do I really want too? It doesn't matter if I want too, I have to do this. For everyone's sake. Because I can't just be selfish. I don't want to be selfish. Error snorts. His snort is so cute. I love it so much. I just want to pinch his cheek bone. But I know I can't do that. It hurts so much. Knowing that I can never yet close to him. W-What am I thinking?! I-I could never-... I stop and realize who is in front of me. I keep calm, and continue to smile.

"Anyway, should we get going? I'm really exicted to go and see more aus and explore them! Considering we can explore aus without getting caught now!" I say joyfully. I can feel myself cringe. I'm so fucking stupid. I hate it. Oh well, atleast I get view aus with him! That makes me a little bit happy. Actually, just being with him is such a pleasure, I can't explain it. I feel myself blush a little, but it quickly fades. What w-was that? I- I just.. Don't know.. This is all wrong.. I hate it.. I hate all of it.. Everything is hurting again.. How do I make it stop? I want it to s-stop!! I-

"Ink, I don't know how you do it. You can always make me exicted for anything. Even if it's something I hate. But yeah, I'm ready!" He smiles at me. My eyes turn to stars. On the outside, I look joyful. But on the inside, I'm screaming of excitement. It feels so wonderful. He c-complimented me. I feel so flustered and happy. This is an amazing feeling. I'm going to hold onto this moment forever.

"Pshh.. Are you spacing out again, Ink? We gotta get going." Error laughs. My soul aches. But I continue the show as I usually do. "Yeah, let's get going now!" I grab broomy and proceed to splotch some ink down on the ground. Error stares at me, still smiling. I wonder if he's secretly judging me, and only smiling because he's laughing at my idiocy. I wouldn't blame him. If I was Error, I would laugh at myself too.

"So.. Where are we meeting again?.." I ask sheepishly, putting my fingers together timidly. I'm such a forgetful idiot. I wish I could remember where we were going, but I don't. "Ink, don't you remember? You get to choose to this time!" Error replies, grinning at me. How could I forget that? Maybe I just didn't have the energy to think about it, and just went to bed to escape the pain. That's what I always do anyway.

"Oh y-yeah! Well.. If I had to pick a place, I would choose outertale!" I say nervously. I don't want him to find out that- "Let me guess.. You chose that because it's my favorite au?" Error gives me a sly look. How did he read my mind? I-I.. I don't know what to do. I can feel heart pound.

"N-No! I just wanted to view the stars, y'know?.." I mumble, looking away flustered. I sigh quietly. I wish I wasn't so easy to see through. He probably knows I feel the way i do about myself, and is only using me to entertain himself. I would be a hypocrite if I said i felt bad because he's doing it. After all, I used to do it myself. So who am I to judge?

"Whatever you say, squid. Anyway, I'm gonna go tell Dream and Blue were going to outertale. I'll meet you there, okay?" God, I love that nickname. It makes my soul do a front flip, and my stomach fills with butterflies. Suddenly, I hear a growl. I realize that was my stomach. Error bursts out into laughter after realizing what that sound was. "Well, well, well.. Has someone forgotten to fill their tummy again?" He teases. My face fills with rainbow, freckles are starting to appear. "I-I'LL MEET YOU AT OUTERTALE!!" I teleport away, embarrassed as ever.

I find myself at an coffeeshop au. Perfect, I need something to eat anyway. The bright atmosphere of the cafe enlightens me. It's so heartwarming and lovely. This place always makes me feel happy. I like it so much. Now, what do I want to eat?.. Hm.. Maybe a croissant? Or a donut, if they even have them. I'll get one for everybody if they do have donuts.

I walk into the cafe, smiling genuinely. I see that the two cafe girls are alternative human girl versions of Fell and UF Paps. Fell looks like the more shy and timid type in this au. While Papyrus just looked like she would act how the original Papyrus would act in Undertale. Seeing the siblings in this form made me a bit happier. They looked adorable in human form.

"Hello!" I say smiling faintly at the human version of Fell. Am I making a fool of myself? I mean, I'm a skeleton walking into a human cafe. This is so embarrassing. Rainbow freckles start appearing on my face. The girl looks up from her phone, and turns to me. Her face lightens up. "Oh stars! Y-You must be the protector of aus! You're so much more adorable then I imagined!" She says joyfully. I blush a little. Someone thinks I'm adorable? I'm surprised. "Aha! Yeah! My name is Ink! How about you?" I ask, giving her a little smile. "F-Fiona.." She replies nervously. "What a lovely name!" She's blushing hard now. "A-Anyways.. What would you like to order?" I pause. Then I remember to ask if they had donuts. "Do you guys have donuts?" I ask, putting my fingers together.

"N-No.. But we do have a recipe for donuts! So since you're a special guest, we-we can make you some.. What donuts would you like?.." I sigh, then ask for one Blueberry, one Lemon, one Chocloate, and one Vanilla with sprinkles donut. "POPPY!! THE CREATOR IS HERE TODAY!! SO WE'RE GIVING HIM DONUTS!!" Fiona then calls out. Is this universe's Papyrus named Poppy? It's a really pretty name. Who I assume is Poppy then comes rushing over towards us. "THE CREATOR IS HERE?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER I-" She then notices me standing here. 

"OH DEAR I'M SO SORRY! THIS PLACE IS JUST NOT CLEAN AT ALL AND I APOLOGIZE FOR THE MESS-" "No, no! It's fine really. This cafe looks really though! I love atmosphere!" I cut her off, to tell her how much I really do love this cafe. She looks flustered, then whispers in Fiona's ear. 

"The god of creation, just gave us good review.. WE'RE GOING TO GET SO MANY CUSTOMERS NOW!!!" I could hear her say that, but I decided not to say anything. I don't want to make her feel bad. So I look at her with a confused face. The two of them turn to me, and their expressions change. They look like they're in aw. Did I.. Do something wrong?.. 

"HAS ANYBODY EVER TOLD YOU HOW CUTE YOU ARE?! LIKE- YOU ARE SO ADORABLE!! CAN I PINCH YOUR CHEEK?!" Poppy asks, looking like shes about to cry. I start to blush, more rainbow freckles appear. "Ah.. T-Thank you.. And...I guess you can pinch my cheek." I step a little closer so that the two girls can admire me. I don't know why they would, I don't get it. I'm not adorable. I'm annoying and careless. 

The two girls keep on poking around at me. They keep saying how cute I was. I want to cry. I want to scream. I hate this. I don't like being touched this way. But I don't want to be rude. So I instead ask them politely for my donuts. They look at me, then remember what I asked for. Fiona tells Poppy what I ordered, then she quickly goes into the back, to make my donuts.

After a few minutes, they're done. They both tell me I don't need to pay, but I pay anyways. Not paying would be selfish. I don't want to be selfish anymore. They hand me my donuts in a small box. I make my way out the door, and teleport to outertale.

\---¯\\_(ツ)_/¯---

I'm finally here. Outertale. Hopefully they want the donuts I brought. And hopefully.. I can.. Confess.. I walk up to them, and try to say hello, but nothing comes out of my mouth. I'm so awkward, can't even say hello. "D-Donuts.. Do you guys want donuts?.." I then blurt out. I want to throw up. I hate myself. "Ink?.." Dream asks, all of then then turn around to stare at me. I feel uncomfortable. I don't want to stare at me. I wish I could disappear. I don't want to be here anymore. But I just stand there like an idiot.

"You brought donuts?.." Blue asks. I nod in response. I feel like I did something wrong. But I continue to fake smile. I then spend the next 5 hours hanging out and chatting with my 'friends'. And.. I found out something today.. I don't want to believe it.. I.. I hate myself.. How could I?.. I.. I'm in love with Error.. And he.. Loves me back.. I.. HOW COULD I?! I start to sob into my pillow. A-And.. I told him.. About my depression.. I.. He said everything was going to be okay.. Abd that.. I would be alright.. But why don't I feel alright?.. I got what I wanted.. But nothing feels okay.. I continue to sob and scream.. I'm so selfish.. I.. I don't know- .... I remember something.. I remember that.. Nightmare, handed me a rope once.. While were setting up something.. I.. Put it away in my closet..  
..

I go and pick up the rope.. I know what I need to do now.. I need to do this.. Everyone will be so much happier.. Nobody needs me. I'm done. I hate the world, and myself. I don't want to know about it anymore. I can finally do it, since I have a soul. I can finally.. Have peace. Everyone can be happy.

I give up...

Nothing matters anymore...

I hate all of this.

I grab a chair.

I hang the noose.

I put it around my neck.

I...

Wait.. There is still hope!! I can.. Be happy!! Everything can be okay!! If I just try!! Everyone cares!! I've had so many great memories here!! I- I...

No..

THEY WERE ALL LIES!!! LIARS!!! I HATE MYSELF!! I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!!!!!

I KICK THE CHAIR...

And..

NO WAIT!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!! NOT YET!! I REGRET IT!!! I'M SORRY EVERYONE!! I..

"H-HE-"

I can't call out.. My neck hurts.. I can't breathe.. Everything is bad..

I try clawing at the rope..

Nothing happens..

I try calling out again..

But nobody came..

"E-Error.. I.. Love..."

I want my last words to be for him..

"You.."

Blackness, nothingness.. Nobody came.. He was dead.. Just.. Hanging there..

\---¯\\_(ツ)_/¯---

Hey everyone! Luna/OP here..  
I just wanted to tell you, if you ever have suicidal thoughts, please know that suicide is never the way out. You're loved and cared about, and killing yourself will only cause pain to others.

If you are considering committing suicide, please look at this post  
https://dropkicks-self-off-cliff.tumblr.com/post/622559896746016768/suicide-prevention-resources  
Stay safe, and remember that I care about you! Thanks for reading! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully you enjoyed! And remember, suicide is never the answer. I care about ly all.


End file.
